What do you think when you hear the word “STRESS?”

I don’t know about you, but I hear something bad. I would guess that most people do.

And it’s a bummer. It stinks that the word “stress” automatically equals something bad in our minds. Because the truth is, stress levels move along a continuum. There’s actually a sweet spot where stress is GOOD. It’s a place where energy flows, things hum, you feel “in the zone.” We’ve all been there and know what it feels like.

So how do we get there, and how do we STAY there?

First let’s take a look at that continuum of stress, also called “Arousal Theory,” to better understand what we’re talking about.

AROUSAL THEORY

“Arousal Theory” (Yerkes-Dodson law; Diamond, 2005; 1908) states that there’s an OPTIMAL LEVEL of arousal (aka “stress”) to perform any task AT OUR BEST. Stress improves our performance of a task ONLY up to a point—a tipping point— and then beyond that our performance deteriorates and can actually begin to damage us.

Check out this cool YouTube Psychology Short here (8 min must-watch!).

Here’s a slide from that video showing what this looks like:

Here’s how that breaks down, and what we can do at each stage to help ourselves manage our performance.

TOO LITTLE STRESS

We feel bored, discontent and unmotivated. Sleepy. Unproductive. We sit on the couch and binge Netflix. Or watch WAY too many TikTok videos until somehow it’s three hours later. Or we don’t want to do the classwork because it’s “a boring worksheet” or “busywork” or not at all interesting.

So what can we do?

• Seek out new experiences. Make ourselves get off that couch and go TALK to a friend about what you’re watching on Netflix. Talk about the stories. The characters. Why do you like one and your friend hates them? Go actually MAKE a TikTok video, yourself! They don’t all have to go viral. Maybe you’re great at sewing and you make a cool time lapse reel of you sewing a fabulous top and then modeling it.

• Seek opportunities to “up” the complexity for yourself. Yeah, it’s a boring worksheet. But maybe there’s something there that’s interesting, that you can research on your own. Maybe you filled in a blank on it for History class and the answer was “the Mayans.” All you had to write was “the Mayans” just to check a worksheet box. Well, it just so happens that the Mayan culture was pretty fascinating. So “up” the complexity for yourself and go do some Googling on your own. (And let me know if you figure out the answer to WHERE DID THEY ALL DISAPPEAR TO??)

• Keep learning. If you’re bored with ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, go learn about something else that YOU CHOOSE. (And don’t ever stop throughout your life!) Learn to sketch. Learn some words in another language. Learn how to make homemade ravioli. Learn about the incredible life cycle of the monarch butterfly. Pick literally ANYTHING. And go teach yourself. (And then maybe have fun sharing it with someone else).

GOOD / OPTIMAL STRESS

This is when we’re “in the zone” and things are humming. We feel engaged, motivated, alert and challenged. We feel like we’re GROWING (always the goal!) Maybe you’ve been through that first stage and you did that stuff and it’s increased your energy. Maybe the stars all lined up and your classes feel challenging enough to make you interested and wanting to work hard but they’re not taking you to that tipping point yet. Maybe you don’t know why things are humming—they just ARE.

What can we do to STAY here?

• Seek to understand WHY things feel good, and then keep doing what you’re doing. I’ll tell you, when things hum, it’s usually because you’re performing tasks that match your personality, abilities and desires—and you feel challenged just enough to keep growing, but not burn out. You’re in the middle, overlapping circle in that Venn diagram. Look at what you’re doing and try to keep that going! Ask yourself things like:

  • Why do I like my classes so much this year?

  • Why does Key Club feel like the best club I’ve ever done?

  • Which experiences have been great for me recently and why? And how can I create more of them?

  • Who am I enjoying being WITH as I’m doing things that hum for me? A great teacher? A good friend? A new class acquaintance?

  • Find the good stuff in what you’re doing and why you like it; then rinse and repeat!

TOO MUCH STRESS

This is the bad stress place. Where our performance has started to deteriorate. We feel exhausted, crabby, emotionally reactive, scattered, panicky, filled with anxiety. We maybe even start to feel sick with stomach cramps or headaches. We become unmotivated, can’t think clearly, feel numb. Maybe we isolate ourselves.

All of us have probably been here. At the TIPPING POINT. Where something’s gotta give.

What can we do to help ourselves?

• Scale things back. Are you trying to do FOUR clubs? Maybe cut it back to two. Have you agreed to lead too many things? Let someone else be the leader in one. Taking seven AP classes this year in high school or 18 hours in college? Maybe three AP classes or 12 college hours are better right now. Taking on too much of a friend’s stress? Maybe answer fewer texts from them, or tell them you can listen only at certain times of the day so you can be fully present, or help them think of other sources of help.

• Seek out experiences that are a better fit for you right now. Maybe you’ve always been good at math, but you have actually always HATED math. You’re in week two of AP Calc, hating math yet again, and the workload is insane and you already feel burned out. Maybe you just go and drop AP Calc (because you know you’re never going to use or teach AP Calc) and take a “fun” math class instead, like Personal Finance. Maybe learn how to invest on Robinhood and make a little money next month!

• Do SELF-CARE! Self-care should be a daily task for us ALL. If we don’t take care of ourselves, no one can. Put away your phone and go for a walk outside (nature is the VERY BEST medicine). Hang out with your pet or someone else’s. Cook a yummy dish or dessert. Go shopping for cool T-shirts at vintage stores. Whatever you love to do, go do it. (Napping counts!)

This is only a drop in an ocean of tips about stress. Google “Arousal Theory” to learn more. Talk to your parents and caring adults about how they deal with stress.

Get to know yourself better and understand where “in the zone” is, for YOU.

If you learn it now, you’ll know it about yourself for your entire future!